This is My Heart

This is my heart:


A big ole pile of the sweetest and most joyful people ever.

I am so excited to see them again. My heart longs, longs, longs to have a lap full of children.

To help at Faith Roots Academy.

photo by Hillary
photo by Hillary

To sing songs.

To crack up at John’s jokes.

To hear the mess of drums and yelling and crying and “Mommy!”

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Oh, I miss hearing a million times a day, “Mommy!”

I will miss sweet R, who might be adopted by the time I would get to see her. My heart hurts but is joyful, because she is God’s, not mine, and God gave her a family.

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I regret the times I deemed it too hot to have another child on my lap.

I am so ashamed at never caring about orphans or widows or poverty before I went.

Yeah, I cared in the abstract sense.

Now, it is all I can think about. “If I buy this at Walmart, how much malaria medicine would it be in Ghana?”  “If I shop here, I am just throwing money at the business machine, but if I shop here, I am empowering women in poverty.”

God is good.

215 days.



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